Frenimies

What does the word “Frenemies” really mean? This is the first thought that strikes our mind when we come across this word.

The word literally means friend-enemy. A person who pretends to be your friend, but deep down is no less than your enemy, can be termed as a frenemy.

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Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves, and how hurtful can a betrayal from family be? Yes, pretty damn bad. 

It is wisely said that a break up in friendship is worse than a break up in love. And I totally agree with it.

Its hard to  believe, but there is always a friend in every group that is an enemy disguised as a friend.  I am here to help you figure them out.

Given below are signs that would help you identify your potential frenemy.

  • Does your gut feeling tell you there’s something wrong?

Well then there is a major chance that there indeed is something wrong and may be you just cannot figure it out at the moment.

If your intuition is screaming at you that this very person does not have your best interest at heart, do not try to look over it as a mere thought.

Do not ignore your gut feeling when it comes to dealing with people, you surely have it for a reason.

Ignoring this feeling at first might seem like a great idea, but finding out that it was right all alone, is a form of self defiance and dishonesty with your own self.

Cutting people off of your life can be a hard task but it is always for your own good. So what might hurt at the moment might make you thank yourself for cutting ties off before it was too late.

  • Is it always about them and never about you?

Whenever there is an interaction, it is centered on them and only them. Even when you try to tell them something  minutely related to you, they turn the topic back onto themselves. Now does that sound familiar? 

This is one of the signs that your friend is a potential frenemy in disguise. Friends like to listen to what you have to say and offer you little pieces of suggestions when required.

This is not the case with frenemies though. They always like to think of their own selves and not bother about you.

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  • They’re never there to celebrate your happiness?

Friends want to see you happy and will often go out of their way to make you smile during your grey days. And friends are always there to celebrate your happiness, even with the smallest reason.

I would not say it for frenemies. Frenemies would make excuses to avoid such celebrations. In addition to which they would make you feel that you are not worth this happiness or would look down on you for being happy for such a reason. 

One thing that I’d like to tell you is that do not listen anyone saying that you are not worth something. You are worthy of all that you want and deserve all the happiness. Do not let anyone make you feel otherwise.

You can have your own reasons to be happy. Even if they are not as important to others, but are important to you, do not hesitate in celebrating them.

  • Got to know that your dear friend said something to someone behind your back?

Don’t be shocked to know this. It is a knowledge we have been passed on that when you don’t have anything good to say, choose to remain silent. But when people do not have an intention to care for your well being, they would surely be inclined to start rumors or gossips.

They try to get others away from you. But there’s nothing to worry about. The one’s that really know you and care about you wouldn’t really be budged by those rumors. And if do, they aren’t worth keeping.

At times standing alone is also a good resort to ensure you are away from negative people and also ensure your happiness.

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  • Hearing cruel or sarcastic comments is a common occurrence?

You might want to re-think your friendship if this is the case with you. Although friends are meant to provide you honest advises regarding you but cruel comments is surely not an acceptable form of communication. 

And if they are not directly onto cruel comments but rather into deep sarcasm or a taunting way of talking.

Either way you need to get them out of our life right now. You don’t need such negativity in your life. 

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  • They try to sabotage you in some way or the other?

Here sabotage doesn’t mean to destroy your life or something, rather indicates the damage they do to you with the little things.

They try to get you off your workout routine, or a work or study schedule. These small things are counted under sabotage as well.

Think through it for yourself, why would a friend not want you to achieve something you want to? Well a friend would rather motivate you to stick to your schedule. A frenemy surely wouldn’t do the same.

  • Getting a daily dose of criticism from you “Friend”?

I do not intend to bring light on to constructive criticism here. Constructive criticism is when someone tries to criticise you only with an intention to keep you to get better. I personally would accept constructive criticism but not in a hurtful or impolite way though.

The kind of criticism I mean to discuss here is the one that is intently meant to pull you down and demotivate you. This kind of criticism can be very hurtful and may even hamper your self-confidence to a large extent.

This sign is big enough to tell you where you stand in your “friend’s” life.

  • Does your friend never let you forget those embarrassing moments?

We all joke around with our friends about some embarrassing memory of ours and that’s totally accepted. Friends are here for a little teasing after all.

But what if these embarrassing memories become the topic to laugh on for the entire school/college? Bad, isn’t it? It would probably be like a nightmare come true. Well at least for me it would be.

Frenemies would leave no stone unturned to embarrass you at any given point of time.

  • Your friend is always up for competition with you?

Does your “friend” do something immediately after you’ve done it just to show you that they can as well? This is not a sign of a healthy friendship in any possible manner.

When competition sets in among friends, it indicates the death of the friendship being near.

A competition just for fun is not something you need to worry about, but when things start getting ugly just walk away.

The above signs indicate that your friendship has taken an ugly turn towards a toxic rather than healthy friendship. And now its time to be honest with yourself and walk out of the friendship for your own good. Breaking off friendships is a hard thing, but staying in a toxic friendship does more harm than good to you. You’ve been warned though.

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I hope you found this post helpful. Don’t forget to share your views about “Frenemies” and have you ever come across any such person. Share your story below.

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Twitter: @teenagethings00